Winter and ovens

It's that time of year. The time of year when the sun does a quick curtsy every day and usually that's behind the clouds. So I go into my kitchen and remove the dial from the oven so later, when my head is inside, I won't be able to easily accomplish my goal.

I know this is being glib about suicide. I apologize to those who may be offended by it. But I'm only mostly kidding.

People often ask me why I live in Missoula. My answers are family, summers and 'have you seen a picture of where I live?'. They ask that, however, when I'm weeping into the phone and the sound is reverberating around the oven. Without fail, these calls happen between December and February. Here, in the wonderful mountains, fog and clouds often stay for days during those months. From my south-facing bedroom windows, I can literally watch the crescent of the sun as it breaks over the mountains and, seven hours later, falls back behind them. When I can actually see it I burn out my retinas by watching it in lustful thrall for those hours. All of them. Praying it will take me through the next three or four thousand million years where I can't see or feel it.

I know, I know. Melodrama. But you know what? That's how I feel! I just wanted to put it out there to remind me and to tell all of the others I know are close, "Take your head out of the oven, go to Home Depot buy a lamp and a full-spectrum light. Shine it directly into your mug every day for 10 minutes at breakfast. We'll make it until March."